first half 2007 knob-chive | home | forums

Rating Key:

***** Godfather II
**** excellent
*** good
** meh
* poor

12/21/07

No Country for Old Men ****

This is the new Coen brothers movie, a "return to form" as it were. It opens with some narration by Tommy Lee Jones. He plays the grizzled sheriff of a small Texas town. After we hear him talk about how things aren't how they used to be, we are thrust into present day (1980) Texas, as a seemingly innocent Javier Bardem is arrested. Without giving too much away, his innocence is but a misleading facade. Within the first 10 minutes, he's strangling hi arresting officer with his handcuffs, with a weird, intense look on his face.

The weird look I was talking about.

Cut to Josh Brolin, who plays LLewellyn (sp?). He's an ordinary Texas guy, out hunting one day when he comes upon the scene of a drug deal gone bad. The setting of 1980 deprives him of a cell phone, so he creeps around to see what's what without informing the police. He ends up finding a bunch of cash and gets away scott-free... or does he?

As you probably can guess, Javier Bardem ends up chasing Josh Brolin and the money. This middle part of the film was the most fun for me. There's a lot of suspenseful scenes, as the full extent of Bardem's ruthlessness and strange code of ethics is revealed.

The movie lost me a little bit towards the end. I wasn't paying attention and all of a sudden it was over. Whoops!

11/07/07

The Darjeeling Limited ***

The Darjeeling Limited is the latest film from "wacky" indie director Wes Anderson. It centers on the story of three brothers played by Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrien Brody, who take a train trip through India. I don't want to "spoiler" the plot, but yes, they do get into some wacky misadventures during the film.

When I saw the movie it was preceded by "Hotel Chevalier", a short film by Anderson that acts as a prequel to the full-length film. It's pretty good. Three words: Natalie Portman's ass. You get to see it naked, and it's quite impressive. No nip or bush though.

The feature opens with a nameless businessman (who is played by Anderson favorite Bill Murray for some reason) rushing to catch the "Darjeeling Limited" train in India. He doesn't make it, but Adrien Brody does, just barely. He meets Jason Schwartzman in their private compartment. Mr. Schwartzman's character has been living in self-imposed exile in Europe since their father's death about a year prior. They get to say 'sup to each other, and are joined by Mr. Wilson, whose face is all effed up because he was in a motor vehicle accident.

The three brothers proceed to the dining car for a drink and a cigarette. They share the various muscle relaxers and opiates they have obtained whilst in India.

They ride on a bike together at the end.

While it's not a masterpiece like Rushmore, or even the Royal Tenenbaums, it is a worthy addition to Anderson's impressive body of work. Huzzah!

10/12/07

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption **** (Nintendo Wii)

Metroid Prime 3 is the sequel to Metroid Prime 2. I guess the story picks up where it left off? I remember in Echoes there was a dark world or some shit, and there was Phazon that hurt you when you touched it. In this brand new adventure for Nintendo's latest console, The main character of the Metroid series, a female bounty hunter named Samus Aran, struggles with Phazon addiction and has to destroy the root of the Phazon corruption of the galaxy.

This is a first person shooting game, mostly, but it appeals to me more than other first person shooters (FPSs) because it's equally puzzle and action based. If you read my review of Metroid Prime 2, you'll get a sense of how this game plays too.

Though this game lacks the almost-perfect design of the first Metroid Prime, there is one area in which it exceeds its predecessor: the controls. The Wii remote, as you might expect, makes for an amazing FPS control scheme. Though it took an hour or so to get used to, I way preferred this control scheme to the GameCube's dual analogue-stick controls. Just pointing at the screen and firing feels very natural. Bravo, Nintendo.

You get to enter in codes a lot.

Another good point of this game: it's not as hard as the other two Prime games. I like a challenge, but they were plain ol' retarded. This game, while difficult, did not require me to fight any boss battle more than twice (or three times).

10/3/07

Eastern Promises ****

Eastern Promises is the new film from Canadian auteur David Cronenberg. He has in the past directed films such as The Fly (1986) and Scanners. This film re-teams him with A History of Violence's Viggo Mortensen with chillingly fantastic results.

Let me get this out of the way: There is a naked fight scene, but you can't see Mortensen's dong clearly.

The action starts in modern day London. A teenager of Russian descent gives bloody birth to a daughter and dies under nurse Naomi Watt's supervision. Watts finds the girl's diary and gives it to her Russian-speaking uncle to translate.

When she has trouble getting her uncle to translate the diary, she goes to an address of a club that she found amongst the dead girl's things. It turns out to be a Russian mob social club. Needless to say, hijinks ensue as she tries to get to the bottom of the mystery of the dead girl.

Viggo Mortensen is the driver for the Russian mob Don's wayward son. Early scenes establish that Mortensen's awesome, but the son is a total douche.

Cassel and Mortensen: Goofus and Gallant.

There's some great violence in this movie, and girls will sympathize with Watt's desperate need to care for a child. Overall, the best date movie since Superbad. Well done, Hollywood. Well done.

7/9/07

Hola amigos.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Master Quest ****

This is a new version of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time with "remixed" dungeons. It is recommended that you play the original first.

I wasn't too eager to play this game... I replayed the original kind of recently and I wasn't looking forward to all of the boring between dungeon nonsense. And that part did suck. But the dungeons are *amazing*. It's almost like having a whole new Zelda game to play.

This game kicks balls.

The only drawback to the dungeons is that maybe they're a little too difficult at times. A guide is helpful.